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The Spark | : 7 Sins of India

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木猫才子木猫王子突出贡献优秀版主

发表于 2017-8-18 20:51:19 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 firebird 于 2017-8-18 20:54 编辑



The Spark is coming !
Two months after India’s trespassing upon the UNDISPUTED Chinese territory.
It’s time for India to confess its SEVEN SINS.
Doklam Standoff China-India


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‘7 Sins of India’ – this Chinese video on Doklam is 70 kinds of funny

ndian television news content is often criticized for being over the top. Moderators are criticized for their histrionics. The absence of reason is mourned, as is the resemblance of programming to government propaganda. But a new Xinhua video suggests that even in this game China has India beat.

Streamed on New China TV, the official YouTube channel of Xinhua news agency, which is the official press agency of the People’s Republic of China, the video features a pulchritudinous female anchor throwing peculiar new light on the Doklam standoff, topped by a faux hirsute faux Indian making a fool of himself backed by a full supply of canned laughter.

The script is pretty hilarious actually. It’s not clear to me if the scriptwriters are really taking the mickey out of India or sort of subtly subverting their own scriptmasters as well.

I have recorded the script below, with the hope that in something like the august tradition of rap battles, someone out there is going to put together a classy rejoinder:



Anchor: It’s been two months since Indian troops illegally crossed the China-India boundary but so far India has shown no sign of withdrawal at all.

When the whole world is trying to wake India up from its impulse China’s realized it’s impossible to wake a guy who is pretending to be asleep.

Faux Indian: Nobody is blaming me because I’m asleeeeep. (Snoring)

Anchor: Fine fine … let’s now take a look at what India has done during these two months which in a nutshell is regarded as the 7 Sins.

No 1: Trespassing

On June 18 Indian border troops carrying weapons and driving bulldozers illegally crossed the delimited boundary into the UNDISPUTED Chinese territory.

Yeah you heard it right, driving bulldozers straight into your house without even knocking at the door. What kind of neighbor would that be?

No 2: Violating bilateral convention

No 3: Trampling international law

You may think Doklam is a disputed area but the truth is both India and the international community have recognized the place as a part of China according to the 1890 convention between Great Britain and China relating to Sikkim and Tibet. And the thing is this exact convention is part of international law.

Didn’t your mama tell you never break the law!

No 4: Confusing and wrong

No 5: Putting blame on victim

This is kind of funny. India has been inventing various excuses to whitewash its illegal move. But first of all you’ve got to make sure your excuses can hold water dude!

India’s argued that China’s building of roads would represent “significant change of status quo … with serious security implications for India”. Would you go and take it up when your neighbor’s building a path in his garden?

Faux Indian: He’s building a path in his garden! I’m in DANGER!!

No 6: Hijacking small neighbor

Well this is most outrageous. We thought India would have been wiser after the first stupid excuse. But this time it attempted to justify its incursion in the name of “protecting Bhutan”.

Faux Indian: Don’t move – this is Bhutan’s home. I’m here protecting it.

Faux Bhutanese: (with the faux Indian waving a knife at him) No not my home.

Anchor: The Bhutanese authorities have clearly told Chinese officials that Doklam is not Bhutanese territory and they are also confused by India’s behavior.

Well I’m just wondering, how does it feel shooting yourself in the foot?

No 7: Sticking to mistake knowingly

China has a strong will to solve the problem peacefully – with the prerequisite of India’s withdrawal of course.

However India is so thick-skinned that it is on the one hand crying for talk but on the other hand refusing to withdraw.

Have you ever negotiated with a robber who had just broken into your home and refused to leave? (Nooo) You call 911 or just fight him back, right?

Faux Indian: Why call 911? Don’t you want to play house bro?

Anchor: If you really want to play, get out of my house first. (Shaking her finger)



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发表于 2017-8-19 08:40:24 | 显示全部楼层
LOL那个老印很象
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